Conflict Resolution via Self-Awareness
• Identify Your Best Self (The WHO)
• Pause, Ponder, Pivot = The Space Between Stimulus & Response
• Break Down the Conflict Mountain into Smaller Pieces
🔹Calling Up Your Best Self
• Pre-Think: Practice Mantra before Conflict arises
• In-The-Moment Strategy: Have a Ready Tactic (Pause, Breathe, Visualize)
• Mirror Rule: People mirror your Energy, Show what you want to receive
🔹Roots of Conflict
• High Stakes
• Opposing Viewpoints / Different Opinions
• Emotional Weight or Past Trauma
• Power Imbalance
• Lack of Psychological Safety, Trust, Clarity
🔹The 3 Core Reasons You Get Upset (internal and external focus)
1. Unfulfilled Expectations
2. Thwarted Intentions
3. Undelivered Communications
🔹De-escalation & Communication Strategy
1. Separate People from the Problem
2. Focus on Interests, Not Positions
3. Invent Options for Mutual Gain
4. Use Objective Criteria (Industry Standards)
🔹De-escalation Tactics (How-To)
• Listen Actively (No Interrupting)
• Read Body Language
• Say “AND” Not “BUT”
• Flip it to a Learning Conversation
• Partner, Not Opponent
• Change Venue / Take Breaks
• Stack Small Yeses for Momentum
🔹De-escalation Strategy: CLARA
Calm
Listen
Affirm (You can Affirm without Agreeing)
Respond Respectfully
Add/Ask for Shared Understanding
🔹Things Under Your Control
Words
• Verbal
• Use Silence
• “I” Statements
• Neutralize Threats
• Disarm with Kindness
• Acknowledge Others
Body Language
• Use Open Gestures
• Maintain Neutral Facial Expressions
Mindset
• Don’t take Things Personally
• Exercise Emotional Regulation
Emotional
• Respect Feelings
• Stay Calm, Speak Clearly
🔹For Effective Communication
• Pre-Plan: Role-Play, List Pros/Cons, Anticipate Reactions
• Find Shared Value: Agree on Common Ground
• Know Your Why: Understand Effects of Actions